I wrote this Letter to the Editor to my small town newspaper. This was my response to the amazing numbers of “Yes on 8″ signs that sprung up in my neighborhood seemingly overnight a few weeks back.
If you don’t live in California, Proposition 8 bans same sex marriage. The California Supreme Court ruled that same sex marriage was legal in June 2008. Prop 8 hopes to overturn this. Here is my letter:
Dear Editor:
Ideally Proposition 8 is a logical decision. Either you support or oppose equal rights for all. But I want to acknowledge – perhaps fool hardily, because I may be driven out of town on the next wine train – the passion that Proposition 8 is stirring in California and in our own small community.
The emotions and fears are evident when friends ask me: “I don’t mind gays, but what do you tell your kids? Would you want your kids to see that?”
I can only imagine my own relatives in the deep south in the 1960’s saying similar things about the imagine of my husband and I, two individuals who decided to build a marriage and a family based on values of respect and love. You see, I was born in 1964 in a small mid-western town. This same year my husband was playing in a sandbox half a world away. Because we are from different races, it was against the law for us to marry until the Supreme Court ruled in favor of interracial marriage in 1967 in Loving vs. Virginia. I feel fortunate to live during a time in history when I can choose who I want to marry and a part of a country that is inclusive and accepting. Our friends, children, and grandchildren should not have to wait decades or even years to obtain the same rights or a message of inclusivity.
What do I tell my kids? I have three kids under 8 and what I tell them is when people are old enough to make smart decisions they choose who they want to marry. Hopefully, they choose someone who respects and loves them. And if they choose to have a family the respect and love is handed down to the next generation. Respect and Love. That’s what I hopefully model for my children.
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but gay families are part of our community, some out, some with a foot still stuck in a few hangers in the closet (I don’t blame them). No proposition will put your fear to rest or push whole families into an already crowded closet. Just as the states attempts to abolish interracial marriage would not have kept thousands of mixed-race couples from being together. These laws only harm individuals and families but they do not stop them from being formed.
I have two kids in the public school system and I have never heard my child talk about “today during our lesson on marriage.” As parents, the ball is in our court. It is our choice to educate our kids about our values – whatever they may be. But by all means, do not deny hard-working, loving families the same rights to tax benefits, hospital visitation, etc. as you enjoy. This hurts our community. I ask you to support families in our community by voting for equal rights for all. Because all families deserve the same rights and privileges. NO ON 8.
Shelley
