The Dynamic Duo of Mark and Kristen, my creative writer friends from way back when, gifted this blog to me for my last birthday. When I moved from San Francisco to the small hamlet of Napa five years ago I had great plans of marching into the Napa Register with a portfolio of dazzling musings about a city mom of two going country. No doubt the quips would be hysterical and too pithy, too smart, too too for any features editor to pass up. Never mind I had never written much of anything but a Holiday Newsletter.
My inflated sense of self soon shrunk and writers block set in. In place of a creative outlet I decided to take a page from Van Gogh’s book of Artist Angst and spend the next 5 years talking about all the writing I would be doing….just as soon as the creative spirit moved me. Any day now, just as soon as I clean this sink with a toothbrush. Then enter Mark and Kristen with their capes to set up my blog, thus removing all technical obstacles in my way. In other words: “Stop your kvetching, Shelley. Just write!”
So I am new to the blogging world. I certainly have read many talented friends blogs (see links to right) and even commented on their posts, but I was never on the receiving end of the comments until now. Apparently when you are brave enough to stick your neck out – picture of a golden retriever hanging his nozzle out of a Porsche on the autobahn comes to mind – and write where your passions lie (say No on 8), you may be a bit surprised that not everyone agrees with you or even appreciates your oh-so-intelligent insight. This comes in the form of “comments.”
I guess the “series of tubes called the internets”, as cultural giant Senator Ted Stevens says, is open to everyone. Even people who do not share my values, ideas, beliefs, etc. Go figure. Why didn’t someone warn me? When discussing what is appropriate and safe to post and not post online, dear friend Mark reminded me that anything you post in cyberspace you should be comfortable telling your grandmother and airing on CNN.
The problem is I tend to over share. I am the kind of person that when asked about my son’s birth I am more than happy to supply ALL the details. “….and then this wooosh of water came…” Put it this way, when I tell a story I can see the thought bubble above friend’s heads that say “TMI.” To add to my dilemma, I married a lovely, sweet man who is so private he surely missed his calling as a CIA undercover agent. My eight-year-old knows my maniacal need to process and share so well, upon hearing that “mommy was writing online” he immediately gave me a very detailed list of topics I am NOT allowed to write about (i.e. ANYTHING that has happened to him from birth to the present).
Blogging ethics is a subject many people in this universe know all too well. Dooce author, Heather Armstrong, found her calling as full-time blogger when her employer fired her for writing about her work and co-workers (albeit anonymously).
Then there is the reaction of family and friends. My dear friend Kate said “who would put your diary online for everyone to see?!” before I told her I blogged. Seems many over 35 are private bunches who have little time for cyberspace. My mom said “Blog? What’s that?” Ok, she’s 83. But she’s a hip 83 that knows her way around an email account, scanner and fax. (what I really enjoy is when she shouts writes in my comments section “Shelley – This is your mother…” which is followed by a compliment that is Pulitzer worthy or “I don’t understand this. Guess I’m of a different generation.”)
What is the lesson I have learned in my short month, 3 posts, of blogging? If your thinned skin and you want to please everyone you should stick to writing about babies, puppies and rainbows in your Holiday Newsletter. But really, would that be very interesting?
So here it goes… I won’t write about co-workers or my work. I will try my best to keep my friends and families most embarrassing moments off the screen and I will hope that all friends and foes will be open to the “conversation” and exchange of ideas. If you know you hate my politics stay clear of those posts. Maybe my musings about parenthood and forty-somethings will connect. But I think we should keep it interesting, or why bother?
The words of wisdom I try to keep in mind these days: “Well-behaved women rarely make history.”
